Apparently, I Suck at this Motherhood Thing

Thanks for all the useful information. Your insight is very keen. Keep it up.

Stopping by from FFF/MBC's mom link round up to say Hi! I don't have kids, but my nieces and nephews tell me these stories all the time. They also said they got more candy on Valentine's Day than on Halloween.

Tracy
Ascending Butterfly
http://ascendingbutterfly.blogspot.com
.-= Tracy @ Ascending Butterfly´s last blog ..Winner Announcement - Ascending Butterfly's Affordable Scarves Giveaway Winners! =-.

Ha! This is a great thing to point out---since when did Valentine's Day become like Christmas?? When I was growing up, if you gave more than a card it was embarrassing. I don't think you should feel bad. You are just not as guilt and consumerist as your kid's classmates' parents.

Yeah, my kid went with Spiderman valentines handwritten, as well. And he came back with BAGS of stuff, so I am right there with you!
:-)
Traci
.-= 38traci´s last blog ..Day 173 or Wordless Wednesday =-.

Holy, holy, holy crap! Did you steal my next blog post from my hard drive? How did you hack into my computer? Let me freakin' tell you... I FEEL THE SAME way! And, and, and... I have 4 kids... and the younger 2 attend two different preschools. SO, that's SIX classes worth of Valentines. I did the same thing... those damn paper ones that you fold and tear (which my kids couldn't even do without ripping them). So, there you have it. If I post my same frustrations, I'll be sure to link to your post.

THANKS for your comment about the heat crap that went on in my house... Meanwhile... WHERE DO YOU LIVE??
.-= Kat @ TodaysCliche.com´s last blog ..” ‘Cause Baby It’s Cold Out(in)side” =-.

The good old days never sounded better, thankfully I never had to go through all the things you younger Mom's have to face with your children. I think you did great by even getting the Valentines.
.-= Jude´s last blog ..Too Tired To Blog =-.

As a young parent, I was quite surprised to see the teachers at my little kid's child care asking us to prepare a little bit of something for the entire school of 50 kids. I didn't remember getting a card from everyone when I was a kid in school.
Naturally we did the same thing as you and purchased one of those small card packages for everyone. Just writing my kid's name on every card left me thinking about just pulling her out of day care for that day to save me the hassle.

Hey there Jen,

Now that's an idea! Nothing screams I care about you more than a heart filled card with a skull or eyeball candy taped to it. I gotta keep that in mind for next year. =o)

Age: 42

Marital Status: Not

Number of Children: Zero

URL of your blog or website: http://zheist.blogspot.com

What the hell have you sick people done to valentine's day?

I thought it was a day where either guys send flowers to girls they want to have sex with, or guys in relationships curse at the utter stupidity of the day.

What the fuck are you doing?

Hey, if your kid doesn't mind, screw it! My daughters, when they got a bit older and wiser, made me get candy that we taped onto each valentine. Yeah, lots of fun. My son never gave a damn. Love that boy...

MOB: She goes to the neighborhood public school. Nothing fancy. I won't be making it up for Christmas or Halloween. I just don't roll that way. I'd like to get my hands on that handbook.

Amy: You mean you didn't get in the car and go to the nearest 24 hr Walgreens? What kind of mom are you? If I don't find out about it at least a week in advance (where I will still forget about it and mess it up) it doesn't happen.

Jenera: A box of sweetarts would have been acceptable. But these people had big bags of M&Ms, those sucker rings, nail polish (new, not half used) Full size Snickers (which I really appreciated today) and all kinds of stuff. It was amazing.

Laura: It is Michael's fault. That store has sucked up more of my money during the school year. I go in there for one item like a glue stick and I come out with what would have been my daughter's tuition for four years of college at an Ivy league school. I know, I should not bring my daughter.

Meg: A child doing it herself is a completely different story but this was clearly a mom thing. If my daughter could go to the store, alone, pick out her items, put them together, sign her name and everything else I would be fine with giving her the money. Not really but it would be easier than having to spend the money and do the work.

Paul (Charlie) You are lucky to have such a lovely fiancee but don't count your chickens until you've had children and you see what kind of wife you really have. All women at one time or another (usually when the first baby arrives and she is home with it) will try her hands at crafting. Most women get over it or find they have a real talent. The rest make Valentine Cards an Olympic competition. I'm glad you love my blog!

Lisleman: Shhh, don't give anyone any ideas.

Anne: I want to go have drinks with you.

I was very impressed with myself with the fancy stickers I included with my daughter's Valentines, but they didn't compare to all the other stuff. I don't think the kids realize that some moms are so much better than others. I used to be bothered by what a bad mom I was, but now I just compliment the moms with too much time on their hands.
.-= Anne´s last blog ..Happy Random Birthday Thoughts =-.

the escalation of a card exchange in grade school - I think it's sad.
Next year you'll need to record individual youtube videos for each of them.
.-= lisleman´s last blog ..had too much to dream last night =-.

I am so glad that I am engaged to a beautiful woman who did not grow up in the U.S., and sees the holiday for what it really is :)

I am engaged to a beautiful woman now, but when I was in school, on Valentines day I wore short black pants and a yellow shirt with a black zigzag-ing pattern on it. Always hated the day.

I love your blog, Jen :)
.-= Paul´s last blog ..The Classics =-.

Oh Em Gee! I hope I'm one of those "cool" mothers...but somehow I doubt it. As a kid I LOVED putting together valentine's day cards with candy and treats. I did it all myself without involving my mom (aside from her ponying up the cash of course). I don't think my son will be nearly as into it as I was. =)

I have enjoyed your site very much and benefited from the information. Many thanks!

TOTALLY WTF on the nail polish and no you are not a bad mom!!!

It is supposed to be for the kids and then I think the moms get a little nuts with it! Thank you Michaels!

My oldest is in preschool and he had a bunch of valentines with 'extras'. This year we did Cars valentines stickered to a box of Sweethearts. That was that. And I don't feel too guilty.

And I just cracked up picturing a boy in physics busting out a heart pencil, lol.
.-= Jenera´s last blog ..Just What The Doctor Ordered =-.

I suck at this motherhood thing right along with you. I was supposed to send in candy for Son's valentines party today. Guess who remembered? ME! YAY! At 10:30 LAST NIGHT. Boooooo. So Son went in empty handed.
.-= AmyLK´s last blog ..Autism and Lego's =-.

Wow, what school does she attend? Is it one of the prep schools in NYC where they also have their own credit cards and driver waiting to pick them up? I was lucky to get one of those candy like sugar hearts that had a bad impression on it them and you could hardly make out what it said. Like I l*&^ you or Will Yu B Mi&^

Well there's always Halloween and Christmas to make up for it. Page 7 in the Mom's manual of etiquette for children and school holidays. States it clearly. Although it should be updated, has it was published before iPods and cell phones.
.-= Man Over Board´s last blog ..Our Children Never Leave Us. Hope Is Never Lost =-.

Metallman: I should have thought of it before Friday but I could have taped the Halloween candy we had left over. It's still good right?

Melissa: Don't get sucked into the insanity. Hold your ground, refuse to give into peer pressure. Good luck anyway.

Shelly: It is your fault. I hold you responsible for this mess. Chocolate lollipops? We tried to make eyeballs for Halloween last year but they looked like something the cat threw up.

MsDarkstar: I suspect J is a mess because his mother wouldn't let him celebrate these stupid holidays and because the school accommodated her wishes. I feel kinda sorry for J.

Tracie: I'd love to go to the PTA meetings with you. That's if I actually went of course.

Storm: There is nothing wrong with cutsie but you have to know when to stop. Valentines cards is when to stop.

Lee: You aren't helping here.

Nooter: Haha! and happy birthday!

i dont like transformers valentines - if you make them mad they turn into hate mail.
.-= Nooter´s last blog ..It’s Somebody’s Birthday! =-.

I am laughing at this!! I bought those cheapy cards that you stick a lollipop through for both my kids...$5 for 2 boxes!!
.-= Lee the Hot flash queen´s last blog ..Miso Horny! =-.

OK, I tend to be all cutesy and even I think all that extra stuff is a bit much. When I was a kid, only the rich kids handed out anything but a card, all two of them. LOL
.-= Storm´s last blog ..Random Thoughts Tuesday - Slug Free =-.

When my kids were in preschool I tried to keep with "Those Moms". I ended up broke and bitter. Now I get the valentines, the kids fill them out, and that's it. Screw it.
.-= Tracie´s last blog ..Bamboozled And Busted But Not Afraid Of Obama =-.

There were two years that my daughter had class with "J"... who was of a religion that does not allow the celebrating of birthdays or ANY holidays, apparently. Year 1 the teacher handled this by forbidding anything to be celebrated in her class. No Halloween, No "Winter Holidays", No Valentine's Day, No birthdays. And when the kids saw that all of the OTHER classes got cool celebrations, the kids sortve started to hate "J".

Year 2 - "J" spent alot of time in the library. Every time there was a celebration, the teacher sent him to the library. Apparently, his mother had a conniption when he came home with Valentines, but the kids brought them for EVERY OTHER KID and "J" should have been wise enough (this was in 5th grade or so) to just, you know, discard them rather than take them home.

I will also point out that "J" was a bit disturbed/maladjusted... He exposed himself, IN CLASS, to my daughter and his mother had the NERVE to suggest that my daughter in some way PROVOKED it. I think the world is going to be a very lonely place for "J" as he gets older.
.-= MsDarkstar´s last blog ..Happy Feast of St. Stoogepie! =-.

Well. It's my fault. I'm one of the mom's that made chocolate suckers for the whole class. tied each one with ribbon and even curled the ribbon. In my defense, I thought it would be a nice little treat for the kids. I did not know that Valentine's day was the new Halloween. Every Valentine had some sort of candy taped to it whether it came with it or not. I almost bailed on the suckers but am glad I didn't.
.-= Shelly´s last blog ..What the Hell Wednesday~ Commercials =-.

wow lol my kids are not in school yet. They will be soon though so I guess I gotta start thinking of creative things to give out lol. I suck at those things too.
.-= melissa´s last blog ..Free Blockbuster Express Rentals =-.

Hey there Jen,

I hear ya! We had to get Valentine's Cards for our kids too and we did the same thing you did. We got them cards. How were we supposed to know that others will tape stuff to the cards? Our kids came home with bags full of stuff and we're like, crap... Later!
.-= Metallman´s last blog ..Valentine's Day =-.

Heather: I recall making them in school when I was in kindergarten. They may not have sold them in the stores at that point. Last year we made them by hand, daughter wanted to so I let her do it. It bombed. Thankfully they don't do it in the upper grades.

Surfie: You and me both. I would love to have a job where I could think up silly ways people could spend their money on crap they don't need. I'd probably suck at it however.

Grampy: I have a sneaking suspicion they do it to impress. No one has that kind of time. I bet they complain about doing it too but would never consider not doing it.

Stephanie: Agreed. I want my kids to be the best at what they want to be the best at. They don't need to be known for having a mom who is willing and able to waste hours taping candy and toys on valentines cards.

Mama Badger: I wish our school was like that. Kids compete in so many different venues these days is it really necessary to make their parents compete with one another as well? I think not.

Linda: I do projects with my daughter but not for the class. I don't think they would think our wine bottle art was a good use of our time.

Pricilla: What is a Flat Stanley?

I think that it is insane what some people do... I honestly think that there are parents out there that have the goal of being the biggest and best - through their kids. Kinda sick when done for the wrong reasons...
.-= Stephanie´s last blog ..More Frustration =-.

I believe it is the moms that have nothing to do. Or they are trying to impress everyone. I hate that.
.-= Grampys World´s last blog ..ALL ABOUT KIDS =-.

I marvelled at all the fancy Valentine's Day cards in the seasonal aisle at Walmart one day. I remember the plain paper ones that we always used. There were very few that were so extravagant as to come with a cheap little lollipop. I bet it could be a fun job to think up all kinds of extra ways to get people to spend money on the holidays. They certainly seem to have more and more items for sale every year, and they get more and more elaborate too. Hmmm. That could be a job that would put my imagination to good use! (Anybody hiring?)
.-= Surfie´s last blog ..Is It Spring Yet? =-.

Wow, I had no idea that parents did those sort of things. When I was in school, we made our Valentines cards and that was expensive enough. My mom would have had a heart attack if she had to be creative or buy extra stuff.

Now when I was back East and living with the nieces and nephews I was that Aunt. When they had parties at school my sisters in law would call me and I would bake or make whatever they needed. I would ask the kids what they wanted and POOF there it was.

Even when we hit the road I was still fun. I did a Flat Stanley for three of my "kids" that the teachers still talk about.

heh heh
.-= Pricilla´s last blog ..Goatucation: Can You be Buddies with Your Buck, Part II =-.

Jen, getting the cards out was plenty. I don't remember ever being able to do more than that. I do see some women who spend all day making cute projects with their kids and sort of think, I never did that. No, I worked and fed and housed and clothed the little turkeys. And if the truth be told, any of my hand made projects would be an embarrassment to the kids and myself. They still remember the awful stick figure drawings I put on their lunch bags. They still laugh and tell me how they always had to turn their lunch around so nobody would see my drawings. Little bastards.
.-= Linda Medrano´s last blog ..Never Date A Guy Named Slick =-.

Argh, I hate the school "we have a lot of time on our hands" gifts. I did fine at Christmas this year because I learned last year. For Valentine's Day, we just got lucky. One of the other Mom's spoke to the teacher about how all the fancy trinkets and cards for every holiday was getting a little out of hand. In response we got a note from the teacher saying to please only send a paper Valentine this year. Made out to "My friend" and with the child's name. You had to have one for every kid in the class. Send them in a ziplock bag. If you didn't have enough, or there was something attached, you got your bag back with the instructions inside. Thank fricking God, I say. Some Mom's were offended, though, I hear.
.-= Mama Badger´s last blog ..The Spin Cycle of Love... =-.

Brandy: What grade is she in? Maybe this is just an elementary school thing that won't last very long? I can dream.

Sheila: I was dreaming of that day too. I guess when they go to college it might happen. My daughter informed me this morning as we were leaving to go to school, that since it was Presidents Day yesterday she needed to bring a snack. After standing there with my jaw hanging open for a few minutes I told her to show me the note about this. She didn't have one (she left her Folder at her father's house). I told her no, I'm not buying a snack for Presidents day. Sorry. No deal.
I'll probably get a note this afternoon.

Molly: At least you did the penny. Hand crafted gifts? That is beyond insane. Don't these people have anything better to do than create a world for their kids that isn't firmly rooted in reality?

mrsblogalot: Condom for 1st graders, oh the posts I would be able to generate with the notes that would come home for that! It's almost worth it.

Kathy: It never occurred to me that I could buy the kids. A quarter doesn't buy anything these days so it would probably still be a sucky gift. I do like the post it idea and I bet they come in heart shapes.

Katherine: I bet it does cost a lot, but for me it would be the time and that I just don't want to do it. My mom never did any of those things, dad would give me his pocket change and tell me to walk to the store to get what I needed.

Mother: It sounds good to me, I'll use that one. Responsible kids, novel idea these days.

Robin: BMW for graduation? Are you high? I gave my kid my truck to drive because the dealership wouldn't take it as a trade in. If he wants to drive it he has to learn how to make it run again. My kids are going to have to get married in Vegas on their own dime.

Comedy Plus: Probably, when I had a husband and stayed home for those first few months I was bored to tears. I started about a hundred different craft projects and doubt I finished one. I don't have it in me to be one of them.

How could you?!! You should be flogged!

This was me a few years back. I don't know when this phenomenon started. All I can say is CRAZY, freakin stepford moms - they screw it up for everyone. I was dreaming of the day I could dump my kids at school and have hours of blissful silence to do whatever I want (naked) - INSTEAD - I spend hours reading to noisy little rodents in pre-k, attend too many day long field trips to count, pta, after school crap and parties for every freakin holiday they can come up with. Spoiled Brats!
.-= Sheila Sultani´s last blog ..We Are The World Remake - Gives Me Cold Chills! =-.

I have had that happen in previous years with my daughter and all I do is send her with home made cards (she makes them all by herself) with idea help from me.

This year she just came home with cards, nothing more, nothing less. I love cards, why do parents have to make it some sugar fest and gift fest? It's not really worth spending the money on these items the kids will lose, break or whatever, ya know?! :-)
.-= Brandy´s last blog ..Happy Valentine’s Day =-.

Perhaps these mothers don't have anything to do. You know hubby works and they stay home and are bored to tears. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Have a super day. :)
.-= Comedy Plus´s last blog ..The Toast =-.

I hear ya...It gets a little crazy..wait for the sweet 16's and Bday parties that are like weddings....and the new BMW's for graduation,...I never want to keep up with that...what would our kids have to look forward too then..and thats what I always told them..it worked too because my kids are not that materialistic..keep doing it your way..it'll pay off..!

I suck, too. But I'm raising responsible kids who are encouraged to do this stuff themselves.

Or at least that's my excuse.
.-= The Mother´s last blog ..The Dishwasher Does Not Require a Secret Handshak =-.

You know, I have always been amazed at the parents who do all that fancy stuff. Usually the crafty stay at home moms. The rich ones. See, I know I could do that too - BUT... it costs SO MUCH MONEY! I think the pencil thing is lame - they never work well. But the other stuff, the COOL stuff, is just too much money!! This year Elizabeth's bag was actually pretty low key. But I've had years where they practically put a puppy in each envelope!
.-= Katherine´s last blog ..The Surgery That Almost Wasn’t =-.

I am not a mother. And this is the sort of thing that makes me glad I'm not. I would probably not even do the card thing right. I would probably tape a quarter to post-it notes and let my kid take that to school. Whether or not he or she wanted to put a heart on it would be up to them. Creative and prepared, I am not.
.-= Junk Drawer Kathy´s last blog ..Taking It to a Whole New Level of Dumbassery =-.

They live to make us look bad!!!!

I also have an army supply of pencils, fancy erasers and other nifty trinkets to add to my guilt list!

Pencils!!! Pfft!!!!!!! Next year I'm adding condoms into the cards. Pretty ones. Studded ones. I'll show them!
.-= mrsblogalot´s last blog ..Who's She In Bed With Now? =-.

I am so with you on the Valentine's...most of my kids' stuff was either handmade (and well done) and included some kind of a little present. We had your good old penny Valentine's and were lucky to have actually gotten names written on them.

Sucking right here with you :)