So before the board can recommend Jen take the next step, please fill us in as to what you were up to back in 2001 and why no records?

We even sent the bloggers sub group, on blogs with potential to check out your blog and the conclusion is why you have an interesting imagination, we all agree that color is needed in the theme. Black and white do not go well with flaming redheads. So get on that will you James.

Once you have satisfied the groups need to know on the 2001 disappearance, we do have your house under 24/7 surveillance, with our T-74z satellite along with 17 bugs in and around your home(box). Don’t try to find them, they are highly sensitive and are set to explode if touched, and of course if you are missing appendages, that might put the kabash on a date.

We have even decided to give the OK on your living arrangements, as the box you stay in, is made with triple corrugated cardboard and housed a side by side refrigerator for Generous Electric. Although you will have to reinforced the plastic trash bags on the roof, the tears in them are not up to code. While we’re on the subject, we also find that your lie in regards of an ocean view is actually a view of the Mississippi River. I hope you don’t think your playing us for fools James. Also the area under the Mendota Bridge is growing seedier by the day. May we suggest instead, of moving your home to the closest Walmart parking lot instead.

So in conclusion we are 95% there for a call from our precious Jen to you once we have the final missing info. One last thing, while you state you live in Minneapolis your cell phone has a St Paul’s number. So just which is it James? What twin city are you really in?

Lastly Hershey chocolate will simply not do. Our women members of the blogger crew, will not compromise on this part and it must be the freshest Godiva, or forget about it. This came specifically from Jayne and a word of advice mano to mano, don’t f**k with Jayne.

You have exactly 72 hours to respond or this message will self destruct. Kindest regards Glenn,cpa, lld, md, phd, and 2 months shy of my foot massage certification.
.-= Man Over Board´s last blog ..My Beautiful Ferrari Was Stolen Today =-.

1. Bank Statements: You are of, course assuming that I have enough money to even consider a bank.
2. Background Check: All they will find is my 3 felonies, 3 ex wives and my mountain of debt…but every one should get fourth chances, right?
3. We my home on the ocean is great, but the rain is horrible for the cardboard.
4. 10 year plan? How about my 10 day extravaganza? And past accomplishments? How about my birth? Oh, wait, my mother did all of the work on that one…umm guess I got nothing.
5. Chocolates? Good Ones? Do you mean that Hershey’s Special Dark? Heard that was good.
6. And I do not need 5 pages, I can use one sentence: I am worthy of being in the same room as Jen, because I never have a problem buying Midol, Chocolate and Tampons.

See, now that was not so hard!

As far as wine is concerned, a good Cab would be the choice for me, but I will take any suggestions that others may provide.

To be perfectly honest, while I have some subtle charms, I am quite sure that our resident Redhead will easily see through them all and move on to more suitable individuals, but a guy has got to try.

By the way, I was not kidding about the Chinese food! I make an awesome spread and would love the opportunity to prove it.