It’s come way too early this year. Last year my annual complain about the heat post was published on June 23rd, that’s nearly a whole month early. The first annual complain about the heat post didn’t happen until July 16th of 2008. Clearly global warming is not just a theory.

To make matters worse I have a sick kid. I’m just throwing that out there because I need sympathy. I’m tired, hot and crabby. I’m going to be so much fun when menopause kicks in in about ten years.

Yesterday the temperature reached 98 degrees Fahrenheit with humidity levels in the tropical zone. I had my heat on a week ago.

Because of the boy’s broken wrist I have not gotten the window air conditioners in yet. Yeah, I could do it but that would mean going into the hot as hell attic and dragging the damn thing down, putting it in a window and all that other stuff. The boy doesn’t have a whole lot of jobs around the house, he is mostly in charge of keeping his grades up so he can get into a great college, get an advanced degree in something and then support his mother after that. At least that is my retirement plan. Luckily we spent the day at the orthopedists office yesterday and he has been given the all clear sign. He doesn’t have to wear the brace anymore and we don’t have to see the doctor anymore. So today he is installing air conditioners when he gets home from school.

Because it is so hot I haven’t got anything amusing to say, however some other bloggers haven’t been hit by the heat yet and have managed to say some hilarious things.

Tracy over at I Hate My Message Board has written another one of her famous food posts, this one is about soda, or pop for you living in the midwest. She even links to her famous Chicken in a Can post so be sure to check that out. I must warn you her food posts are not for people with weak stomachs.

Kathy, from the Junk Drawer, prompted by my last post, tells her story of children starting fires for Jesus.

Margaret from Nanny Goats in Panties has her cute goat on. You can’t stop yourself from saying “Awwww”. This post has also been an inspiration for an upcoming post, can you guess what I am going to talk about?

JD from I Do Things has thankfully contemplated those damn dingleberry commercials, so we don’t have to. Be fore warned, the comments are graphic, highly amusing but graphic nonetheless.

Don’t forget to submit your photos for Friday’s How Did We Survive post. I’ve already received some hilarious photos. It was pointed out to me that a lot of times these moments of survival weren’t captured on film so if you have a story you would like to share please feel free to submit that as well. This will be a linky love post so be sure to send me your blog URL and your name or moniker so I can link to your blog.

And while I am sending you all over the internet please be sure to check out Tribal Blogs. We are having all kinds of fun over there. We are networking and learning all kinds of great blogging tips.

Stay cool everyone!

That isn’t quite as revolutionary as “Everybody Poops” but still, it is true.

There isn’t anything to be ashamed about when it comes to peeing, except if you call it urinating and then it’s just weird.

The reason I mention the whole pee thing is that the other day I was peeing.

Let me back track for a second. My bathroom is above the water pipes. Duh, I know, seems obvious right? Okay, but the pipes aren’t insulated so if the water is running somewhere else in the house I can hear it in the bathroom.

Not horribly loud but loud enough that if I am peeing I can’t tell when I am finished. The other day, when I was peeing, I sat there an extra five minutes because the sprinkler was on and I didn’t know if the sound was from me or the water running through the pipes. I didn’t even have anything to read.

Who can’t tell when they are finished peeing? Who needs sound cues, or the lack of sound, to know that they have emptied their bladder.

Apparently I do.

This morning I woke up early because I had to pee. I hate when that happens because I only had about 45 minutes before my alarm went off and I had to get up. If I got up to pee it was a sure bet I was not going to be able to get back to sleep for those 43 minutes.

I tried to ignore it and go back to sleep but it wasn’t happening. If your bladder is all “Hey, wake up, you’re going to be sleeping in the wet spot soon”, you need to listen.  So I got up and peed.

But, I didn’t flush. I know, some people think that’s gross but I didn’t want to wake anyone up. The morning is the only time when it is quiet. The phone isn’t ringing yet, I haven’t woken my computer so I don’t see all the emails I need to respond to and it’s just usually the best part of the day.

So after I peed I got up and made myself a cup of coffee which will of course make me need to pee again.

Today is officially Tinkle Thursday (#tinklethursday).  Look for it on Twitter and join in.

A big,  huge Thank You to Kathy from The Junk Drawer, JD from I Do Things, and Margaret from Nanny Goats in Panties. I haven’t laughed so hard that I peed in a long, long time.

MSNBC.COM

Say what you want about Obama and his health care bill. I’m just glad to see that Emmanual Lewis has recovered from the death of Michael Jackson and has found an even more famous black man to hang onto.

Day 1 without carbohydrates.

***The contest has been changed since only two people were willing to bet against me.

New Contest For Happy Goat Soap***

This sucks.

I’m only 12 and a half hours into this and I don’t know how I’m going to do it.

The hard part isn’t avoiding the foods I am giving up. The hard part is the fact that the foods I am giving up are already prepared. Food that has a shelf life for years. Food that needs no refrigeration. Food that comes in a box or bag.

The hard part is that now I have to actually prepare my food.

Do you know how long it takes to prepare food at least three times a day?

A long time.

I have a massive headache and I pee every 20 minutes.

This must be good, right?

So who thinks I can’t do this?

C’mon, I know there are some out there who don’t think I have it in me.

I’m willing to put my mouth where the money is. Or something like that.

I have three bars of rich goats milk soap, compliments of Happy Goat Soap, for whomever can guess how long I will last on this no carb diet.

My goal was to do this for a week. If I didn’t murder anyone after that week I would continue for as long as it takes to establish better eating habits.  I’ve done this before but usually fail because something stressful happens and I fall back on comfort food. This time I’m doing it in front of an audience who, for the most part (not you Surfie or Nancy), are being really supportive so that could make all the difference.

What do you have to do to win three bars of the best soap in the world?

Leave a comment with the date you think I will succumb to sugar or bread or anything processed and delicious. I’m going to announce the winner next Monday so make the date for this week. In the event that I actually succeed in getting the sugar monkey off my back I will choose a winner from random from all entrants.

If you want to earn more chances to win you can do the following

Subscribe to my newsletter.

Follow me on Twitter.

Follow me on Google Friend Connect (the widget is way down at the bottom)

Follow Redhead Ranting on Facebook

Stumble any of my recent posts

Digg any of my recent posts

How will you know if I cheated? I have told my son and my daughter to keep me on track. If I cheat my son knows how to tell on me using any of the social media sites as well as hacking my blog.

If I cheat and they aren’t home you can bet the guilt will get to me and I will tell on myself.

Let’s get a couple of things clear however. I am not going completely carbohydrate free. That isn’t possible. I’m giving up processed food, sugar, bread, breading, pasta, candy, cookies, ice cream, anything that is really good. I am getting carbs in fruits and veggies as well as milk and what few carbs there are in meat and fish. I can eat pasta if it is Dreamfields which does something to make it really low carb and high fiber. The problem is it’s hard to find in the stores.

Let the wagers begin!

** I forgot to mention, this contest IS open to international contestants so all you Canadians can get in on the good clean fun!

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• Dreamfields Pasta (lisacooking.com)

dietinfocare.com

I’m going to give up carbohydrates. I’m going to give up my precious carbs for a week.  And I am going to document it here.

I have to. Bathing suit season is still far enough away that there might be some hope for me.

I also have to because I ate the most ginormous waffle today and I don’t think I could look at another carb for at least a week.

I realize that this means no chocolate and no bread.

It also means no wine.

I might be a little crabby.

This whole giving up of the carbs thing is definitely doing things differently, and I have vowed to do things differently even if I said I would only on a whim. There are DTD (doing things differently) police and she makes me a little nervous. If you want to try your hand at doing things differently then head over to Mommamiaculpa where Meleah (see, I am spelling it right finally,which is also doing things differently) will educate you on the whole process. Once you have familiarized yourself with the whole procedure then you can join the Facebook group for DTD. One rule, which I am breaking because I forgot and I am still too full to go back and change everything now, is that when talking about DTD you must write in the third person.

If everyone is still alive after the week, I might just do it another week.

I fully anticipate there will be wagers on how long I can last.

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• Doing Things Differently – My Week In Review [Part Three] (mommamiameaculpa.com)
• ‘Livin’ La Vida Low-Carb Show’ Episode 337: Dr. Nancy Appleton Says America Is Committing ‘Suicide By Sugar’ (livinlavidalowcarb.com)
• What About a Zero Carb Diet? (marksdailyapple.com)

Everywhere except California, Oregon, Washington State and Vancouver.

An 8.8 magnitude earthquake hit Chile early this morning. So far only 78 deaths have been reported. The earthquake in Haiti this past January was a magnitude 7.0 but they sustained considerably more casualties.

Tsunami warnings have been issued for all over the globe with considerable concern for the Hawaiian Islands. Evacuations have been ordered for later this afternoon.

Um, where is everyone supposed to evacuate to?

On a side note:

Proof that Google’s method of advertising has penetrated the real world. As I am watching the news about the tsunami warnings in Hawaii a commercial airs for Papa Murphy Pizza highlighting their Hawaiian pizza.

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• Huge earthquake hits Chile (telegraph.co.uk)
• Chile Hit by 8.8 Earthquake, Tsunami Alert Issued (Update3) (businessweek.com)