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I’m going to give up carbohydrates. I’m going to give up my precious carbs for a week.  And I am going to document it here.

I have to. Bathing suit season is still far enough away that there might be some hope for me.

I also have to because I ate the most ginormous waffle today and I don’t think I could look at another carb for at least a week.

I realize that this means no chocolate and no bread.

It also means no wine.

I might be a little crabby.

This whole giving up of the carbs thing is definitely doing things differently, and I have vowed to do things differently even if I said I would only on a whim. There are DTD (doing things differently) police and she makes me a little nervous. If you want to try your hand at doing things differently then head over to Mommamiaculpa where Meleah (see, I am spelling it right finally,which is also doing things differently) will educate you on the whole process. Once you have familiarized yourself with the whole procedure then you can join the Facebook group for DTD. One rule, which I am breaking because I forgot and I am still too full to go back and change everything now, is that when talking about DTD you must write in the third person.

If everyone is still alive after the week, I might just do it another week.

I fully anticipate there will be wagers on how long I can last.

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• What About a Zero Carb Diet? (marksdailyapple.com)

Everywhere except California, Oregon, Washington State and Vancouver.

An 8.8 magnitude earthquake hit Chile early this morning. So far only 78 deaths have been reported. The earthquake in Haiti this past January was a magnitude 7.0 but they sustained considerably more casualties.

Tsunami warnings have been issued for all over the globe with considerable concern for the Hawaiian Islands. Evacuations have been ordered for later this afternoon.

Um, where is everyone supposed to evacuate to?

On a side note:

Proof that Google’s method of advertising has penetrated the real world. As I am watching the news about the tsunami warnings in Hawaii a commercial airs for Papa Murphy Pizza highlighting their Hawaiian pizza.

Related articles by Zemanta

• Huge earthquake hits Chile (telegraph.co.uk)
• Chile Hit by 8.8 Earthquake, Tsunami Alert Issued (Update3) (businessweek.com)

Do you know what this means?

No, it does not mean I get to go to fancy dinners with important people from Port Charles, or even NY for that matter.

It means I get shwag from Port Charles.

Woohoo.

It also means I have to watch TV during the day, for research, you know.

Even better, I get super secret plot details in advance, and I get to share them with you.

I’ve been watching GH since high school. My best friend and I would get home from school and catch the last half hour of the show, usually eating brownie batter and Munchos.  (Munchos, the best named munchie food ever. No one knows what they are but the name screams stoner fuel.)

Back to General Hospital. Right now, MomCentral.com is having a sweepstakes for General Hospital fans. You can enter here. One lucky winner will be randomly selected to receive a trip to Los Angeles to visit the set of General Hospital and have a walk-on role. The sweepstakes is open until February 28th. Again, you can sign up here.

I’m still not a mommy blogger but who could pass up General Hospital and free shwag? Not me.

Legal stuff:

I am a participant in a Mom Central campaign for ABC Daytime and will receive a tote bag or other General Hospital branded items to facilitate my review.

Yes, I really can.

This week I have outdone myself with my newsletter. I have some great sponsors who have offers just for my readers. There are things in there that will guarantee you get some nookie for Valentine’s Day, even if you are by yourself this year.

If you haven’t already signed up, today is a great day to do it. The newsletter will be going out this afternoon so there is still a little time left.

For those of you who read me on Facebook, stop feeding the pigs for five minutes and get on over to Redhead Ranting to sign up for the newsletter. You can find the sign up box on the top right hand corner of the main page. Your crops will be fine and the mafia war will still be raging when you are finished.

**UPDATE**

I have posted all of the online Valentines Day specials on the Freebies and Coupons page so be sure to check them out. There is something for everyone from flowers to chocolate to stuff for adults only. There is also some free beer.

Have a great weekend everyone, and Happy Valentines Day!

Yesterday Apple introduced the worlds first ever electronic and digital maxi pad. The world had been waiting in great anticipation to see what Apple would unveil. There had been talk of a tablet, a new iPhone and all kinds of other products that no one really needs but must have. With much fanfare Apple, always one step ahead of the competition, surprised everyone when it demonstrated the new iPad.

The new, and improved, iPad uses the same touch screen technology that the iPhone and iTouch use except it is larger and more absorbent. With one swipe of the finger you can now dial down your cramps from debilitating to mildly annoying. Because the iPad runs on AT&Ts 3G network it can be synced with Outlook and other scheduling programs so that periods can be easily scheduled. College girls will no longer have to wait months to synch their periods, just a few quick taps on the screen and everyone can be on the same schedule. One can download apps from both Dominoes and 7-11 so that chocolate and pizza runs are never disappointing.

“There is nothing worse than running to 7-11 at 2am only to find they are all out of peanut M&Ms” said Sarah Field, “With the new iPad I can check the inventory of the closest convenience store to make sure they have all the M&Ms, rocky road and Doritos that I need. I no longer have to go to three different stores in my pajamas.”

Apple is hoping to have an upgrade soon which would allow the users to broadcast their menses so male co-workers and boyfriends know the best time to schedule that meeting, ask if they can go on that fishing trip and possibly get birthday sex.

That is precisely what Pope Benedict told his priests. He wants them to embrace the new technology and get the good word out.

I’m pretty sure he meant “For God’s sake, blog!” as in “let’s get out there and blog for God”, rather than “For God sake, blog!” as in “if you priests want to hook up with some young boys get on the god damn internet”.

I’m almost certain that is what he meant.

I could be wrong but I am pretty sure there are already a lot of people praising God in their blogs. I know I pass by several. Of course I leave as quickly as I can so no one tries to save me.

Just what are these priests going to talk about in their blogs?

“Today I did a little calligraphy and then I prayed.  Father John has got to get himself some Altoids if he is going to continue to sit next to me during prayer. I can’t summon the right amount of contemplation and praise when all I can think about is getting away from his dog ass breath.” -Father Mike

or

“I can’t believe my DB (dear brother), he is so silly sometimes. Today he lost his glasses and was getting angry when he couldn’t find them. I told him to look on his night stand because he was reading last night before he went to sleep. He didn’t want to hear what I had to say. He doesn’t take me seriously anymore. We used to have so much fun together but now all he wants to do is read or watch Highway to Heaven reruns. He never pays any attention to me anymore. I bought a new cassock the other day and he didn’t even notice it. I am so irritated with him. He is just lucky I am such a nice person or I would tell him to find his own glasses.” -Father Bruce

or

“I know I haven’t been posting much lately. I just can’t seem to find anything to write about. Dan Brown needs to write another book or something. I promise I will post as soon as something exciting happens.” – Father James

or

“I just learned that one of my congregants is suffering from mesothelioma. I suggested he call a good lawyer because he needs to be sure that his rights are protected. He wasn’t interested in hiring a lawyer since he only had a week or two to live. So instead I told him about this great new thing called Forex Trading. For some reason he got up and left without saying anything. Luckily, I have his email address.” - Father Paul

or

“Little Bobby has been helping me after mass lately. He is such a mature boy even though he is only 7. I gave him a little taste of the wine after the service today. He really seemed to like it. I told him not to tell his parents I gave him the wine. I told him that it is our little secret and that I only give wine to boys who don’t tell their parents. He agreed not to tell. Tomorrow I am going to see if he wants to watch some super secret movies with me.” -Father Tim

I already know that when the Rapture happens, I’m getting left behind.