My water heater just died as well. At least the plumber is on the way.

I have seen this in my rounds several times. Each time I think this is the absolute cutest kid I have just about ever seen. What do you think?

People who refuse to use their blinkers. I can’t read your fucking mind so please use the turn signals that came standard on your vehicle.

People who ride up on my ass while driving on black ice. I don’t know why these people do this but they are usually talking on their cell phone at the time. If I knew they had unsurance I would slam on my brakes but I can’t tell by the make of their vehicle or phone if they have it.

Pedestrians who think they own the road. Yeah, I realize the law is in your favor but when it’s really icy out do you think its a good idea to dash out into the street? I have a big ass truck that CAN NOT stop on a dime, especially on ice. The law might favor you but how much good does that do you when you are dead?

Old people own the road during regular business hours. I get that. Do us all a favor and please stay off the road after 5pm. Don’t you have to go to bed by then?

I have had 9999 visitors to this blog since I started counting. This is like watching the odometer on a car as it is about to roll over. Who is going to be the 10,000th?

I have been tagged with this one many times so here it is for your enjoyment. I won’t tag anyone with it but please feel free to do it yourself and let me know when you do.

1. I have two fantastic kids. They drive me up the wall most of the time but they are good kids and I am extremely proud of who they are turning into.
2. I have been married and divorced twice. Neither marriage lasted longer than three years and both should have ended sooner but we “tried”. This is where I get most of the good stuff for this blog. Both failed marriages were a huge blessing.
3. My father was gay. This is where I get most of the material for my other blog, kidsofqueers.com. My father was also my best friend and I miss him terribly sometimes.
4. My mother had a severe anoxious event when I was 4 and she was 29. Basically she had a stroke. She lost most of her short term memory and most of her mobility. She also suffered severe brain damage.
5. 3 and 4 are probably where I got my sense of humor and the ability to cope with all the other crap that has been thrown my way in the last 42 years. They probably contributed to #2 as well.
6. I have been pregnant six times. I have two living children, one daughter who died at birth and three miscarriages.
7. I have a thyroid disorder, Hashimoto’s disease or hypothyroidism which is just a big word for an under active thyroid. When the medication is not checked regularly, like after giving birth, it can manifest itself in OCD, anxiety and panic attacks. It sucks when the medication is off but otherwise not really a problem. Every woman on my father’s side has a form of thyroid disease.
8. According to my children and some really close friends I cannot carry a tune. I disagree with them.
9. I am mildly dyslexic.
10. I do not get math.
11. Because of 9 and 10 I sweat when I see Captchas or word verifications. This has prevented me from leaving comments on other people’s blogs many times.
12. I’m a sucker for a stray. Two of the best dogs I have ever had were discarded puppies. This also probably contributed to #2.
13. I was a horrible student in grade school and high school. I had no discipline and no one ever bugged me about doing my homework. For some reason it clicked when I went to college and my grades were fantastic. I am a quarter shy of actually graduating from college. I have no plans to finish my degree.
14. Although I could stand to lose thirty pounds I am finally at a place where I like my body and feel good about it. When I was a size 4 I didn’t feel this way.
15. There is no tragedy that a new pair of shoes can’t fix.
16. I rarely wear shoes.
17. If I were stranded on a deserted island all by myself and I had only three albums on my iPod they would be Fumbling Towards Ecstasy by Sarah Mclachlan, Rumours by Fleetwood Mac, and Simon and Garfunkel’s Greatest Hits. I could only be stranded for a few weeks however with this play list as I’m sure I would get sick of them right away.
18. Autumn is my favorite season.
19. I often feel as if I bore people to death.
20. I plan on learning how to play the banjo this year. My grandfather played and was in a band. His face showed nothing but pure joy when he played. I have his banjo and can’t stand that it hasn’t been played in nearly 25 years.
21. I took piano lessons for six years when I was a kid and can hardly play chopsticks now. I’m hoping the banjo is a little easier to learn or that I have evolved somehow since then.
22. As a kid all I ever wanted to do was to be invisible. I tried desperately to fade into the woodwork. I stuck out like a sore thumb with my hair.
23. I’m scared of clowns.
24. The first time I read the Little House books, in first grade, I decided I wanted to be a writer. I have no knack for making up stories, I am not creative in the least but I am learning how to tell a compelling story.
25. I have an uncanny ability to say a lot about myself without actually saying anything too revealing.

My electrician arrived yesterday and after getting caught up he got down to work. My electrician has finished every project that ex #2 (also an electrician) has ever started. He has been fixing my problems for the last five years so we had a little catching up to do. My daughter used to think he was way cool because he once had lunch with one of the Wiggles. She’s not so impressed by that fact anymore but was pleased that he hung around after he was finished and created a Mii that looked just like Michael Jackson. But I’m getting off track.

After installing the plug, he and my son lugged the broken dryer up the stairs to take outside. Measuring was done to make sure it would fit up the stairway but only at the bottom of the stairway. My stairway, from the basement to the first floor, evidently shrinks as you go up. So they hauled it back down and turned it and tried again. Since the dryer was broken I didn’t care if they had to force it through. Which is what they had to do. Once they got the broken dryer out they grabbed the dryer from the garage, that hopefully works, and reversed the process. Again measuring of the machine was completed but not the vent/exhaust connectors at the bottom that stuck out just enough so the damn thing wouldn’t fit. Since this one presumably did work I really didn’t want them to force it through the door opening.

After looking at the situation (with the door to the outside off and letting in all the cold air) it was clear that drastic measures had to be taken. My options were few. Get it in or buy a new one that would fit.

“Let’s just take a Sawz-All to the doorway” I suggested.

“You really aren’t afraid of anything are you?” My electrician asked.

I might not care about defacing my kitchen but my electrician was not willing to. He slowly and methodically pulled off the trim to the doorway leading to the basement. Because he would be putting it all back together he wanted to make sure that he didn’t split any of the pieces of wood. He did a fine job of taking my doorway apart and they managed to get the dryer down though it was still a tight squeeze.

After the dryer was installed and checked to make sure it worked (it did!) they loaded the washing machine onto the hand truck and were going to haul it out and bring the one in the garage in.

“Don’t you think it might be better to bring the one in the garage down and make sure it works before you haul out this one?” I asked.

“Nah, it’ll work.” My electrician assured me.

“I’m not so sure, it’s been sitting in my garage for a year and a half. My garage was flooded last winter and there was two inches of ice coating the floor of the garage. The machines were stuck in the ice.” I explained.

“Okay, maybe you have a point.” My electrician conceded.

So they brought the other down but did not uninstall the old once since the newer one had ice in the bottom of it. We decided to let it thaw out for a day and then see what happens.

Before the door dissembling took place my electrician and I had gone through the house to make a list of the other jobs that needed to be done. The lights in the bedrooms and the switches on the second floor. He also took a look at my dishwasher since the new one was coming today. When the door business happened, and it took at least an hour to take it all apart, everything else got forgotten. So he forgot to unhook my dishwasher. He said he would be back on Saturday, since neither of us had a life, and would finish the rest then. I thanked him profusely and let him leave.

The dishwasher was supposed to be delivered today but they hadn’t called the night before to let me know when so I assumed they were not coming today. This was actually a good thing since I hadn’t gotten the old one out and figured I could go a few more days washing dishes by hand. I put the dishwasher out of my thoughts and decided that I would see if the washing machine worked.

After putzing around with the connections, forgetting to turn the water off, spraying the whole laundry room, turning the water off and then unhooking the connection and then reversing the process with the newer machine I started it up. And it worked. Pretty well.

It doesn’t spin all that wonderfully but I think it is because the machine is not level. Really not level. I tried to adjust the little feet but they wouldn’t budge. My electrician likes to play with his level so I left it for him to mess with. I don’t have any laundry at this point so no biggie until Saturday.

The phone rings and it’s the dishwasher people calling to let me know the dishwasher will arrive between 10:30 and 12:30. I got this call at 10:00.

I had rented a hand truck yesterday for the dryer but had returned it. When I ordered the dishwasher I did not get the installation since I figured I could do it myself. Big mistake. So now I know my dishwasher is coming. I have no way to remove the old one, and I don’t know how to get the old one out. I did not want to have an extra dishwasher sitting in my teeny tiny kitchen until Saturday. So I did what any woman worth her weight would do.

I put on makeup and a slinky top.

Five minutes later, the delivery guys were at my front door with my new dishwasher. Two young guys with lots of muscle.

They easily brought it through the front door and set it down in my kitchen.

“So is your husband going to install it for you?” The one who talked asked.

“No, there isn’t one anymore, I thought I could probably figure it out on my own.” I said as I smiled and flipped my hair off my shoulder.

“Well we have a few more deliveries in this area and we are ahead of schedule so we could come back and help you if you can unhook the water and the electrical cord. We’ll even take the old one away for you if you like.” The one who spoke said.

“Really, that is so nice of you.” I said as I tried to bat my eyelashes.

“You okay, got something in your eye ma’am?” The one who spoke asked.

So he showed me how to unhook the water supply and even turned off the water for me. He said they would be back shortly. Apparently they cannot mess with my water or electricity unless they are hired to install it. Since I had not gotten the installation they were happy to do the lifting and showing me what to do but could not actually mess with the connections. I was cool with that and bopped down to the basement to turn off the electricity in the kitchen.

Two breakers are clearly marked “Kitchen” on my service panel. I flipped them both to the off position and bopped back upstairs daydreaming about the clean dishes I will soon have. When I got upstairs I notice the light in the kitchen is still on, the clocks on both the microwave and coffee maker are still on and everything else is still working.

That’s not good on so many levels.

To be continued…