Written on July 23, 2010 at 7:21 am by

Empty Nest

Filed under Kids {36 comments}
Ducklings
Image by iansand via Flickr

My boy has spent the last week house sitting at his dad’s, while they are on vacation.

I miss my son.

A lot.

At first, I didn’t think it would be a bad thing, less laundry to wash, fewer dishes in the sink, and no bickering between the kids.

It hasn’t worked out that way except for the laundry part. The boy still stops by the house on his way to and from work to eat a little something.  In those few moments he is home he manages to pick on his sister just long enough for her to get all worked up for the rest of the day.

I still miss him.  Usually when he is here he is downstairs in his boycave, doing boy things, but I know he is here.

And that gives me comfort.

I’m not so much worried about him as I am just missing his company. I figure, if he gets into any trouble at his dad’s house it is his dad’s problem.

I keep thinking about a mother duck and her ducklings. The duck walks along with her babies following behind. She lets them wander off a little but always has an eye on them and if she gets too far ahead they come running, or waddling, to catch up to her. And then sometimes they fall into a grate and the mother duck freaks out until someone comes along and pulls the duckling out from the sewer.

I miss him so much that mentally remodeling his room no longer makes me happy.

He comes home tomorrow and I can’t wait.

What am I going to do when he goes to college in a year?

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  • themother

    I don't miss mine when they're gone. I rejoice.

  • http://comedyplus.blogspot.com/ Comedy Plus

    I missed my son for about two weeks and then I threw a party. I love him too, and on August 1st he'll turn 40. Another party.

    Have a terrific day. :)

  • http://thegoodthebadtheworse.blogspot.com Linda Medrano

    My son was 18 when he left for 4 years in the Navy. The recruiter picked him up on the corner on Valentines Day about 7 AM. It was raining and my daughter and I watched him get in the car and they drove away. We both sat down and cried for an hour. He turns 44 next month.

  • http://kikiwalter.blogspot.com KiKi

    Even when my 8 yr. old goes to his father's place for half the week I completely get lost. I plan all the things I'm going to do, all that I'm going to accomplish…and then I sit around moping. I can't imagine how empty nest will feel when he's older!! Enjoy tomorrow!! :-)

  • Timothy Christian McVie

    You're not Terri Horman are you? You redheads all look alike to normal people.

  • http://middleagedcrazywoman.wordpress.com/ Mishelle

    Oh wow… I don't even want to think about kids going away to college!!! I had a hard time when they started grade school!

  • http://www.tarheelramblings.com Tarheel Rambler

    I always thought I would be like Cliff Huxtable and rejoice when the next emptied out. In my case it happened a little abruptly when my ex-wife and I parted company. Hardly a day goes by that I don't miss having the five brats close to me.

    They are all grown and producing grandchildren now, but are scattered around the country. What I've learned is that memories are a wonderful thing, but I could have done a better job of appreciating them when they were being a royal pain in the butt. :0)

  • http://injaynesworld.blogspot.com/ Jayne

    Single-No-Kids here cannot relate. Although I would miss my dog if separated for any length of time.

    You really need to move to a nicer climate.

  • http://www.weworkforcheese.com Nicky

    My teens just came back from a 3-week stint in Greece, visiting my parents. I didn't think I would miss them as much as I did. They came back and immediately ignored me to call/chat with their friends. Brats. Now I kind of miss missing them.

  • http://pricillaspeaks.blogspot.com Pricilla

    I am not much help here. A goat rarely gets to stay with her kids. Although I am glad my Sarah is back.

    I suppose you don't have much choice on the college thing unless you want to support him for the rest of his life….

  • http://alfredliveshere.blogspot.com Brahm (alfred lives here)

    Yes I feel for you, though cannot relate as no kids. Two dogs though, and on occasion they are out I wander around the house feeling its (not real) vastness. When we are used to company, the silence feels more, uh, silent…

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    I usually miss the dog when he is gone because there is all kinds of food on the floor that he doesn't get because he isn't around.

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    I'm glad Sarah is back too.

    No, I don't have any choice, I don't want to support him, he is supposed to go out and get a great job after college and support me. I've had this planned this way for a while now.

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    I am sure I will feel the same way tomorrow.

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    I've tried other climates like Texas and WA state. They both sucked. At least here we usually have a white Christmas and there are at least two weekends a year that are absolutely amazingly perfect.

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    I feel the same way, sometimes I wish I could stop and smell the roses with them, but then they do something stupid and the feeling goes away.

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    I only acted like I had a hard time with grade school. I was tickled pink to have the house for 6 hours to myself.

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    I haven't had both of them gone at the same time in ages so I don't really remember that feeling. However, when the little one is gone the animals get all antsy after a day.

  • http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

    I love your comparison to ducks, even the last part is wonderful: “And then sometimes they fall into a grate and the mother duck freaks out until someone comes along and pulls the duckling out from the sewer.”

  • http://jennybeans.net Jenny Beans

    We are planning a trip to Toronto without the Squeenager in about a week. I will be away from her for a week, possibly two, while we sort out Visa stuff in order to get married. She will be with her dad, but I hate being away from her.

    With college on the horizon, we're going to have to start a Moms Who Cry Over College (MWCOC) support group or something. We can “say” it's because of the cost, but in reality we'll know it's really something deeper.

    *Sigh!* I can't even stand her being gone for a couple days, much less stomach the idea of her traveling to France when she turns 18 to spend a year before college. Please pass tissues.

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    But, crying over the cost is a big deal too. I'm working on the forum at
    Tribal, I'll have to add that on the boards.

  • Tracie

    I've been without my kids this week, too. I haven't missed them too much as I've been busy working and cleaning out their rooms. When they go to college I imagine that I'll be a basket case.

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    I'm only missing one of my kids so I haven't been able to actually clean around the other one who is far messier than the big one. I bet you've had a nice week.

    I'll be a basket case with college until the bill comes.

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    Those are the images I have in my mind. Seems they are always falling into the grates. Which really doesn't say great things about the mom duck for walking over the grate in the first place.

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    Not even a little bit?

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    I hope it works out that way for me. Happy Birthday to him!

  • Momzombie64

    They drive you crazy when they're around and underfoot all summer long, yet when they go to camp or otherwise have a life, you miss them terribly. I say these little interludes train us for the big fly away moment.

  • http://twitter.com/MyPixieBlog Charlotte Klein

    I can't say I know from experience because I'm not yet a mother, but this post makes me want to call mine and tell her how much I love her. I'm 31 so have been out of the house for some time now… but I remember the day when I left for college, the sad look on her face, and my dad taking her in his arms before I turned around to join my friends. It broke my heart then to see her so upset, but I knew it was the right thing to do.

    It sounds as though you are an incredible mother, and though I'm sure your son doesn't always show it, be comforted by the fact that he loves you very much :)

  • http://beetle-blog.com/ babs (beetle)

    I suppose it's something you get used to. Think of this as practice for when he goes to college.

  • http://www.smalltownmommy.com Anne

    Isn't that the truth. I feel the same way when my daughter goes to sleepovers. While she can sometimes drive me nuts, I much prefer to have her underfoot (just not fighting with her sister, hopefully).

  • http://laundryhurtsmyfeelings.blogspot.com/ joannmannix

    Woman, do not even get me started on college. I have always had this perfect satisfaction when my girls are in the house. They might be upstairs in their rooms keeping to themselves, but they are here under my mama duck wing. It has become so difficult as they wander away, doing this growing up thing. My college girl is back for the summer after her first year. I had just gotten used to having her away from us, my heart was just beginning to heal and now she is here for these heartbreakingly fleeting weeks of summer. I dread the days as they loom closer, knowing once again, she will no longer be under my wing. I don't know if it will ever get easier, this letting go. I miss her already.

  • http://mommamiameaculpa.com meleahrebeccah

    Yep, once a year [every year] my son goes away with his fathers for a week vacation and by the 5th day I feel LOST without him!

  • mikewj at toomanymornings

    That's a lovely tribute to your son, and I'm very moved by it. So moved, in fact, that I'd like to offer to loan you my son. For the rest of the summer. And high school. And college. And, frankly, for several decades.

  • mikewj at toomanymornings

    You're Greek, Nicky? This is great news! When are you having us over for Gyros and Ouzo? I can dance like Zorba!

  • Green Monkey

    you cope…you let them fly because they really aren't ours to keep :) I am saying this with a big smile and hug. I am your worst nightmare… I had to learn to live without my son. the healing continues. best to you !

  • http://www.zippychix.com ZippyChix4

    I have a college age daughter ready to fly the nest in less than a month. She has been working at a summer camp for a good part of the summer and comes home only a few hours each weekend, so I am somewhat prepared. Moms and girls definitely have their moments, as have we….but when it all comes down to it, I will miss her like crazy. I just keep reminding myself that it has been my job as a parent to prepare her for this day and if she is able to succeed away from me…it means that I have done the job correctly. Just reading this post brought some tears to my eyes…it is gonna be a long 4 hour drive home from the drop off for my hubby:)

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