The sex toy party was a smashing success. I think we killed eight bottles of wine, and there were only ten of us there.
The food served was phallic shaped for the most part. It’s amazing what you can find in food items that are shaped like a penis, breast, scrotum or butt when you look. Aside from serving snack crackers made in elongated shapes, thin pretzels, and cheese spread that is shaped like a butt or a boob I also served the titty fuck cakes.
and circumcised little johnsons. I used BallPark Franks, because, they plump when you cook ‘em. I also filled them with white cheddar cheese. I was honestly afraid that no one would eat them but that didn’t turn out to be a problem.
After spending a couple hours making these tidbits, in what was really just 25 hand jobs, I was rather sick of the whole pecker theme. If I were to do this again I would cut the slit that I inserted the cheese into right to the tip. Creating the scrotums were challenging since the dough couldn’t be formed seamlessly to the member. I am almost sure I will never make these again but you never know. I used Crescent Rolls in the can for the dough. I had to cover them with tin foil while they cooked so they didn’t get too browned but were still cooked through.
Missy was our hostess for the evening and she did a bang up job showing all of us half drunk middle aged broads, her wares. I must warn you that a couple of the pictures that follow are graphic.
Missy brought in three tubs of battery operated toys as well as costumes, which we never got around to looking at. She had many toys that did not need batteries as well. In addition to toys she also had candles, lotions, and massage items.
After making introductions, Missy got right down to business. She wanted to warm us up with non-sexual items before she got into the heavy stuff. I didn’t think to take pictures of any of these items so I apologize. After we were all relaxed, and who wouldn’t be with all the wine we had been consuming, she brought out the big guns. 
Yes, you can actually make a real vibrator out of your boyfriend’s or husband’s willie. According to Missy the technology is so good now that it only takes two minutes to set. Apparently it used to take about 15 minutes for the mold to set and some guys had a hard time maintaining their size for that long. You can then make the vibrator glow in the dark if you want.
The next item she brought out was this giant red glitter dildo. Not only is it a dildo that glitters but it has a suction cup at the base. Why would you need a giant red glitter dildo with a suction cup on the base?
In case you want to hang it from the front door. It’s perfect for the upcoming holiday season.
After passing around several vibrators which all did about the same thing Missy educated us on the care of a vibrators. I was too busy laughing to pay too much attention but I did learn that you should always remove the batteries from your vibrator when it is not being used. I also learned that the only thing needed to clean a vibrator is soap and water. You don’t need any fancy soaps to clean them.
As soon as everyone returns from removing batteries we can continue.
Missy also showed us the male equivalent of a dildo. I have pictures but frankly they are too graphic for my site and they would not be considered work safe. Sorry, use your imagination. I can show you the picture of Missy using one of these with the glitter dick.
I think she was demonstrating either a great hand job or what it takes to do a good blow job. Whatever she was demonstrating she was having a great time doing it. As you can imagine the party was pretty loud by then so I didn’t really hear too much.
Missy made many sales so the party was considered a success. Just for having the party I was given a Heart Warmer Massager, which is not shaped like any part of the body, as well as Sin in a Tin which is a candle that once heated can be used as massage oil. Since I used Mooog’s and Katherine’s ideas for food they have their choice of one of those. First come first served guys. All your suggestions were great but these two were the easiest to do so congratulations to both of you for your knowledge of sex shaped foods.
Now if you will excuse me I have to wipe all the lube off the door knobs.
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People will always eat wieners in a blanket. No matter what they are representing.
I am truly disappointed that you can’t get a glitter, glow in the dark combo for the upcoming holiday season….
heh heh
I feel very, very hungry. Unusually hungry. I hope I’m not gay. It’d be a hassle to switch all my magazine subscriptions over to whatever gay dudes read. I don’t think I’m gay, although I got really drunk in college once and….well, I’ll save that story for MY blog, I guess.
Regarding the prizes: Don’t you mean first CUM first served?
Oh, and Merry Christmas to you, too! I think you’re going to have a lot of carolers this year!
I love your holiday decorations
. Sex toys always make me laugh. I guess I don’t have much imagination. I can’t imagine why it needs to glow in the dark.
Erm, uhhh – the snacks look great, very clever!
thanks for giving me such a laugh! I have cramp in my cheeks (facial).
I fear the ’sin in a tin’ will somehow end up causing my house and/or me to catch fire.
Also, thanks for that picture of the broad holding the giant sunburned Pepperidge Farm beef log.
Jesus, woman. Like I wasn’t feeling bad about myself already.
“…in what was really just 25 hand jobs.” This post was freaking hilarious! Looks and sounds like you had a blast. Thank you for all the phallic snack tits. Oops, I mean tips.
Junk Drawer Kathy´s last blog ..How to Make Nipple Cupcakes
Pricilla, I think you are right about that. Pigs in a blanket, circumcised or not are always good to eat.
Mike, I don’t even know where to begin on your comment. Do you have someone you can talk to? Christmas carolers….OMG how funny.
Anne, It needs to glow in the dark so you can find it easily. If they all glowed in the dark there might be fewer unplanned pregnancies.
MadMadMargo, Thanks, they were delicious even if I spent way too much time handling them.
Kerry, you are very welcome
Mooog, The sin in a tin is cinnamon flavored so if you are careful you can nice smelling 3rd degree burns. I forgot to mention that the Pepperidge Farm beef log weighed about five lbs. It was really pretty however, too bad they don’t have one in green.
Sorry, I missed you Kathy, I saw you post today with the titty cupcakes too. I wonder if it will be like National Vagina Day all over again with people posting their favorite titty foods.
I know! I was laughing that we both had boob cupcakes today. I now pronounce November 9th (as one of my commenters on Facebook suggested) National C-Cup-Cake Day.
Junk Drawer Kathy´s last blog ..How to Make Nipple Cupcakes
Somehow, the weiners in blankets pics seem strangely NOT work safe.
Congrats on a successful party!
Kathy, since there isn’t too much going on in early November and it’s still before the crunch of the holiday season, it’s a perfect time to celebrate all the c-cups, and b, a, d, dd, and all the others cups out there. Today only it’s okay for strangers to get a handful! Okay maybe not without asking.
Mike, No, not work safe but I had to show you guys, I thought I did a pretty realistic job considering I had to do it from memory and not from a model. Wouldn’t that have been fun!
Looks like a good time!!
Wow. I’ve never been to one of those parties, but I’ve always wanted to :]
And those hot doggies look good. I think I wanna make some.. but only the regular pig in a blanket kind.. I don’t think I need the balls attached.. haha. Well it looks like you had fun! ♥
Where I come from, sex parties are unheard of. Yours sound like soooooo much fun! Girlfriends should have one for their bachelorette parties
Becki, it was a very good time!
Leilanei, Making the ball part was a pain, they didn’t stick and they kinda rolled off. I wouldn’t do it this way again. But it was fun to try and everyone got a laugh out of them.
Vera, I always assumed this is what bachelorette parties are like. Missy did a wonderful job.
Hilarious!! The do-it-yourself vibrating dildo kit is by far my favorite!
Web-Betty´s last blog ..Trauma, thy name is fat lip
I’m partial to the red glitter dick myself, it’s just so functional!
[...] guess I made those penis dogs look more realistic than I thought. Share and [...]
I’ve only been to one sex toy party and that was quite a few years ago. It wasn’t nearly as fun as yours sounds either… my grandmother was there! lol… and we didn’t have any alcoholic beverages or x rated foods either
Glad you had a great time !
A Lil Enchanted,
~LaShan~
Sounds like the party was quite the success! I think that the wine would help make it a success!
[...] course you all know I had a sex toy party and made titty cupcakes, I even had some rather graphic images that got me in hot water with a few [...]
We are planning our range of parties and completely forgot about food! Thank you for reminding us, we’re going to include your cakes in our ideas book!
oooh, I want the red glitter one.
Elisa´s last blog ..I miss you like a hole in the head