Written on May 27, 2010 at 10:00 am by

Questions I’m Too Ashamed to Ask Google

Filed under Huh {54 comments}

1. Why does Proctor & Gamble make their Tide measuring cap the same color as their detergent?

2. Why does my cat hate me?

3. What is so irresistible about a just cleaned window that it must be kissed over and over again?

4. Does anyone know how to fold fitted sheets?

5. What is on Stanley’s head?

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  • http://comedyplus.blogspot.com/ Comedy Plus

    I can't answer any of these questions. I'm going to get me another cup of coffee.

    Have a terrific day. :)

  • http://www.speakingofwitch.blogspot.com BigSis

    I am dying to hear the answer to #4. Every time I do laundry I end up with lumpy bumpy fitted sheets!

  • http://www.ontheverge6.blogspot.com Lydia

    Good questions. I wish I had the answers for you. I know I have a lot of questions myself!!

  • http://laundryhurtsmyfeelings.blogspot.com/ joann mannix

    Why does Justin Bieber have such a douchebag hairstyle?

  • http://babootie.com/ Arnold

    Question 3 has really got me thinking. I have done a lot of things but kissing windows is something new to me, maybe I have been missing out all these years.

  • loladiner

    It's impossible to fold sheets solo. I just do the best I can and it aggravates me that they take so much space because my kids are sheet folding impaired. If I try to enlist their help they just frustrate me because they are always grabbing the wrong end. I think they should make self folding sheets that pop out of the dryer completely folded.

  • http://www.surfiesays.blogspot.com Surfie

    1. Because if they didn't you wouldn't be able to ask that question.
    2. Because cats hate everyone except those who don't like cats or have allergies.
    3. Maybe it's the act of cleaning the window that turns you on, and if you kiss it you get to clean it again. I suggest therapy.
    4. You're supposed to fold fitted sheets? I thought you were supposed to just ball them up and shove them to the back of the linen closet.
    5. You should probably ask the cat.

  • http://www.ihatemymessageboard.com/ Tracy O'Connor

    Great idea for my next blog post – questions I wished people had been too ashamed to ask Google that turned up in my analytics. Totally not safe for work.

  • http://maniaravings.com Jaffer

    I assumed everybody knew how to fold fitted sheets.

    I cannot resist of fogging up windows in the winter and writing on them :-)

    What's on Stanley's head ? a crop circle created by very tiny aliens ?

  • http://maniaravings.com Jaffer

    Get kissing my friend…

  • http://blog.seattlepi.com/parentingadabsurdum/ parenting ad absurdum

    Google doesn't know as much as it thinks it does anyway. Stupid know-it-all google…

  • http://www.junkdrawerblog.com JunkDrawer

    I used to know a woman through an acquaintance who was the ditsiest person I knew. Her answers to Trivial Pursuit questions were legendary.

    “What is the capital of California?”

    “Lexington?”

    But the girl knew how to fold a fitted sheet. She showed me how to do it and I remember being amazed it could be done so well. And then I forgot how she did it because I had too much to drink when we went clubbing later.

    Who's the dummy now?

  • Mrsblogalot

    I only know the answer to folding the fitted sheets.

    Ready?

    Squish them up into a tiny ball and shove them in the linen closet then close the door really fast before it and all of the others come crashing down on you.

    I know-I love helping.

  • http://joe-capuano.blogspot.com Joe Cap

    And why does my Bride fold underwear?? Is there a point to it?

  • 00dozo

    I can't fold fitted sheets either. I try, but then they just get all messed up and end up in a semi-flat ball which I stick inside the folds of the flat sheet.

  • http://beetle-blog.com/ babs (beetle)

    I was just folding (screwing up) a fitted sheet and saying the same thing to Mo! There is a way, but you would need to lay it out on the floor to do it! Can't be bothered. Just roll it up and be done with it.

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    That's a great question. And not just Justin but all boys between the ages of 10 and 16. More importantly, why do the girls think this is an attractive look?

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    But sometimes don't you just want to go it the right way to say you did it the right way? Just once?

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    That's a really good idea, let them hide inside the fitted sheet giving them the appearance of being folded. Smart!

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    If you don't fold underwear, especially boxer shorts, they take up too much room and the drawer looks messy. That's why I fold it. Usually just in half, nothing fancy but so it can fit in the drawer properly.

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    That is my current method. Or… after washing just put right back on the bed and never actually fold a set. But sometimes that isn't possible, like when someone is sick. I do appreciate your help.

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    It just proves that everyone, EVERYONE, has a special talent.

    Do you still know her, could you ask again? She probably wouldn't remember that she already showed you how to do it.

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    Google had 893,000 answers for why my cat hates me, and 1,700,000 for what's on Stanley's head. I really thought it would be the other way around. None of the millions of answers are correct however.

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    If you really do know the answer to the fitted sheet question would you please share it, or come over and fold some sheets for me?

    While you're at it I'll give you some Windex.

    You could be right.

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    But I don't like cats and I don't have allergies.

    I'm not the one kissing the window, it's the little gremlin that follows me around after I have cleaned each one, inside and out. I get to enjoy my unobstructed view for all of three minutes.

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    That is a brilliant idea!

    I can fold the top sheet alone, even if it does pick up all the dog and cat hair on the floor, but I just can't figure out the fitted sheet.

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    My daughter has always enjoyed kissing windows. One time when I brought her to the grocery store and stopped at the deli I looked over at her and she was licking the glass case which houses the meats. Luckily for me some very large and loud woman was so disgusted she told my daughter what could happen to her for doing that.

  • Christina

    Fold a fitted sheet…

    1. Start with it inside out
    2. Put your hands in 2 corners like mittens
    3. Match those 2 corners and fold one over the other so they are seam to seam inside
    4. Run your hand down to the next corner over and it should be easy to catch the last one and repeat the seam matching
    5. It now should easily fold up if I made any sense at all, but probably not :)

  • http://www.weworkforcheese.com Nicky

    Why do all kids eat their boogers? Wouldn't you think they'd stop after the first disgusting taste?

  • http://pricillaspeaks.blogspot.com Pricilla

    Oooh, ooooh, I know how to fold fitted sheets.

    It's my one and only skill

  • http://www.msdarkstar.blogspot.com/ MsDarkstar

    1. So you can't see how much you're using and will have to buy more faster than if you could actually measure it correctly.

    2. It's a cat thing.

    3. Wash it once with water from the toilet in the presence of the window kisser. That should do the trick.

    4. Yes and I envy their having the time and patience to master the skill.

    5. The cat might be able to answer that, but, as you mentioned the cat hates you so you'll probably never know…

  • http://www.shoot-me-now.com Katherine

    Mrsblogalot, you are MY kinda woman! You MUST have seen my closets!

  • http://www.shoot-me-now.com Katherine

    One time we were in Golden Corral and my son got a bowl of what he thought was whipped cream. When he got that first mouthful of SOUR cream, he spit it out, got on his hands and knees and LICKED THE CARPET OF THE RESTAURANT. Of the GOLDEN CORRAL restaurant. The woman next to us almost passed out.

  • http://twitter.com/shootmenowblog Katherine Murray

    Stanley's head is ruffled up from trying to fold the fitted sheets for you, because dogs aim to please! Your cat probably thinks you are weird because you kiss windows. And the measuring cap? So you will use more of the product and then have to buy more. Now, about that kissing windows thing…

  • http://mommamiameaculpa.com meleahrebeccah

    My mom knows how to fold fitted sheets and she's tried *unsuccessfully* to teach me.

  • CarissaJaded

    I always want to kiss a clean window! Or mirror! Especially when I have on fresh lipstick! And then I never clean them again until they are so stuck that theyll never come off. Hence the fact that all my mirrors have lipstick kisses on them!

  • http://www.sparklecat.com Sparkle

    I don't know your cat personally so I can't answer question #2 for you. But I do want to say that if you do a search on “Why does my cat hate me?” (include the quotes), you'll find that over 10,000 people were not ashamed to ask Google.

    As for the fitted sheets, my human found a video on YouTube and has used this technique faithfully ever since (ironically, it's a man explaining the technique): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHTyH2nuFAw

    The rest of it, you're on your own.

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    Thank you for that video I am going to watch it and learn it. 10,000 other people are asking why their cat hates them? Hmmm, at least it isn't just me.

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    I will admit that in my younger days I kissed a mirror or two with lipstick. What I am talking about are basically face prints on each window at a certain 7 year old level. She saw me clean them a few weeks ago, she saw how much trouble it was to get both inside and outside of the window clean. She isn't helping.

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    I've tried to teach my kids a lot of things and so far have been unsuccessful too. Fitted sheets are hard, taking out the trash is not.

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    I'm not the one with the window fetish!

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    I agree completely with #1 it's a conspiracy. I love your idea for #3, broccoli would work too.

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    Will you share?

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    Do ALL kids eat their boogers? I knew two kids in elementary school who ate their boogers but unless they did it in private I don't think all kids do. I never tried it but then my brother would pick his nose and threaten to wipe it on me.

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    I assume you need a table or flat surface to perform this? It seems to make sense, I'll let you know how it works out next time I need to fold one.

  • http://cranialhyperossification.blogspot.com GDad

    1. It is made of the same material. I believe it may be related to Soylent products.
    2. It is a cat. There need be no other reason.
    3. You suffer from glazolabiitis.
    4. No.
    5. http://www.chronicsite.com/gatchaman/villains.html

    I hope I was able to offer some small assistance.

  • http://idothings.info JD at I Do Things

    Ah. I see someone helpfully provided a YouTube link that shows how to fold fitted sheets.

    DAMN IT!

    Now I have no excuse for rolling them up into a ball and shoving them in the drawer.

  • http://mommamiameaculpa.com meleahrebeccah

    Agreed!

  • http://pricillaspeaks.blogspot.com Pricilla

    Sure, come and visit and you will see the hooves fly!
    I can fold those sheets like no goat can!

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  • sheilasultani

    I started using a white measuring cup years ago because I always spilled soap everywhere.

    I make the kids fold the sheets. (they just roll up the fitted ones and hide them under the flat sheets that way I don't notice them.

    I hate cats they're evil

    My kids don't kiss the windows, they wipe their boogers on them and then lick them

    It looks like a crop circle on stanleys head

  • http://freakyfrugalite.com Rebecca

    1. I use Era. Era is nice. They have clear caps!
    2. Cats love me. Maybe I should Google why my cat loves me?
    3. Wow, you certainly take housecleaning to a higher level… !
    4. I do, and I do.
    5. The dog's name is Stanley?!?!? LOL

    :D

  • GuiltyMother

    I can answer Q4 – my girlfriend Jo knows how to fold fitted sheets. She showed me once, it was genious, they sat there all unscrunched and perfectly flat. Can't for the life of me remember what she did though so they're back to sitting in a balled up heap again.

  • http://beetle-blog.com/ babs (beetle)

    Well, I did do it once, and that was enough. Now I half fold and half roll ;)

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