Rethinking Motherhood

Tuesdays are margarita night in my house. Just think, they’ll go back to school, you’ll sit down and hold your fingers over the keyboard and forget what you wanted to say two weeks earlier. Even after they go back to school, it’s like it takes a good month to get back into the kids-at-school groove. Margarita??

Oh dear…Right, Jen, first thing tomorrow, I am going into town and buying my mum a card and some flowers – hearing the troubles of motherhood from a mother’s perspective has really brought it home to me how much mums have to deal with

By the way, your dog, although I’m sure very annoying, is also very adorable What’s his/her name?

Hysterical!!! The dog in the shower… yup, a thunderstorm would do that to mine too! Oh, and webkinz…. I think I have a bunch of decomposing bodies out there in webkinz world. Do you know I actually PLAYED THE FREAKING GAMES while she was asleep to gain her coins? ACK!

Jen, I can sooooo relate to this rant. I hate being a father, and my wife hates being a mother. It’s not at all like they make it out to be in the family movies or the songs or the Bible or the parenting books or anything. It’s a stupid, thankless job for losers who don’t understand that if they don’t have kids, they’ll be able to travel and have a nice, neat house, and friends and all that stuff you have before kids. And my son constantly messes with my camera, too, which means it never works like I want it to. And sorry about the dog. At least I don’t have one of those.

Other than that picture of your dog hiding under your shower skirt, this has to be the funniest tyraid I have ever heard Jen!!!!

I’d say you found your words in pure hysterical form!!

First time here and i don’t think it’ll be the last. I browsed through some other posts and found you have a real great blog in here!
All that you’ve listed above just sounds a bit too familiar, it’s sort of like to be a mother you are agreeing to be a martyr.

Though I can’t relate, I can sympathize with you. The school holidays are a nightmare for mums.

When I was a kid, it made no difference, in fact it was probably welcomed by most mums, because they didn’t have to get up early or make packed lunches. We got up in the morning and went out to play all day. We didn’t come home until tea time. I know it doesn’t make you feel any better – sorry.

You poor dog looks so sweet. I guess he is the same as you – living on his nerves?

I don’t feel bad for you one bit. I work from home, too. I have FOUR children, and I homeschool.

LOL. Hang in there!

I need a vacation, too. A long one. Like maybe 3 to 5 years. In Italy, with a personal chef and the penthouse suite in the fanciest hotel they’ve got overlooking the water.

Sorry about the cankles. That’s another side effect of kids: They’re constantly demanding food, usually high-fat food, and so you eat that shit while you’re feeding them. They look great and have tons of energy, but you go to hell and can barely get out of bed in the morning.

I have to tell you–every time I see a young couple canoodeling at the mall or whatever, I point to myself and my kids and say, “Hey, idiots, all of that stuff you’re doing right now that feels so good leads to all of this, which doesn’t feel so good. Knock it off if you know what’s good for you!”

They never listen.

Glad to know that I am not alone! I think that a two month long summer vacation, along with Halloween, should be billed as birth control. Place some horny, teenaged-mom crazed (i.e. those girls and boys who think that having kids is cute) with me for the entire summer and my wild, never easily entertained boys and I will have them pad-locking their chastity belts.

http://4mothers1blog.wordpress.com

You need to go to happy hour for about four hours.

I’m tired of motherhood, too. But mine are closer to done than yours (small snicker. Hey, I’m allowed).

Relax, Baby. It’s almost time for them to go back. Harry is just like your great pup. He has issues. Just take a deep breathe and a bubble bath. It works for me. Or bring the kids to Cali, and leave them off at the shelter. It’s legal to do that here till they are 25 or so.

Maybe it’s just a case of the grass being greener on the other side. Is it better with kids or without? Or is it just the weight of the world catching up to us. Which every so often, gets too heavy. And crushes us. To a pulp. In the rain. Alone.

Sorry, that was my inner Hemingway speaking.

I was going to crazy this summer, I put my kids in day care. I couldn’t handle it. It’s too hot and there’s just not enough time to play, cook and work. That way they got tons of fun and I kept a clean house, worked out daily (until last week and I’m miserable – daycare’s over. School starts Weds.) and I blogged like crazy. Now I have one week of insanity before school starts. Ahh….

It hasn’t been that long since my kids have flown the coop, but you just brought it all right back there for me. Funny thing is, I can feel what you’re saying and at the same time…miss it.
I need help.

Mine, plus the neighbor kid, drove me absolutely ape shit yesterday with their bickering and fighting. I drank lots of wine. Went to bed. Woke up early and did it all over again today. Today was easier. The copious amounts of wine mellowed me.

I have a theory: all of the single people wish they were married, and all of the married people wish they were single. Of course, formed in a simpler time, that says nothing about single parents. The woes of the unencumbered life are no less depressing than your frustrations, they just sound different. I don’t ever remember wishing people would leave me alone, nor am I bothered by constant interruptions (the cell phone, with it’s ‘take a message’ ability, is relatively easy to ignore).

Raised by a mom who didn’t want children, I’ve questioned the effect of her regret more than once. I often trumpet the advantages of the unencumbered life: no spouse, no kids, no pets, no plants; and can often see others’ envy, their eyes seeing my grass as greener. I, in turn, see the more vibrant shade of their turf. Advantages, but also drawbacks. The cocktail may have been invented by a parent, or at least a spouse, but all are equally thankful for this perennial coping substance. Quaffing can mute all types of voices clanging around our memory reservoirs. When that wears off then, there’s writing.

“I need a stiff drink and new pair of completely impractical shoes.” Me too Jennifer me too.

I’ve tried to respond to this at least three times but one of them keeps
asking for something. Something that only I can get or do or something like
that. So I have to get up and take care of it and shout curse words under my
breath the whole time because that makes me feel like a grown up. I want to
shout at them and show them pictures of me when I was fun and pretty and not
nearly as grouchy as I am now. Oh and the gray hair they have caused!

I was just telling a friend that I totally blew it by missing that grace
period where you could drop your kid off at the hospital with no questions
asked. Of course they keep that window open for only a little while because
after the new baby smell wears off and they aren’t so cute anymore no one
wants them. They don’t mention any of this in What to Expect when you are
Expecting. Bitches!

Where is your blog, you must have a blog, it didn’t register with Disqus and
I must know where you are coming from. We can’t be the only two mothers who
are hating motherhood right now.

It’s bad enough when Mom doesn’t work from home so I can’t imagine trying to accomplish work tasks with the same everyday crap going on. Yay for school!