MSNBC | Redhead Ranting

Mommy Wars 2012: The Choices Women Make

Filed under People, politics, Things that piss me off by Jen on April 13, 2012 at 11:11 am {4 comments}

Photo of Ann Romney at the Reagan Dinner in Des Moines on October 27, 2007. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hillary Rosen made a statement this week that has fired up the mommy wars all over again. Rosen said that Ann Romney could not understand the struggles of women in the sluggish workforce because she “never worked a day in her life” as a stay-at-home mother.

Before this week I’d never heard of Hillary Rosen and I am sure most of you hadn’t either. Rosen was trying to criticize Mitt Romney for being out of touch with women by criticizing his wife’s choice to stay at home and raise their five children.

Women and men on both sides of the aisle quickly proclaimed a collective:

“Oh, no she didn’t”

Rosen apologized the next day and tried to get everyone back on track of criticizing Mitt Romney but the damage was done. Even in her half assed apology she still doesn’t get it, and neither do many women pundits.

As I was driving my daughter to school today I was listening to two women (sorry, I came in late to the program and did not catch their names) try to explain to the audience what Hillary Rosen really meant.

According to these two women on MSNBC radio she meant that Ann Romney had made a choice to stay home with her kids and raise them because her husband Mitt made a boat load of money and so earning an income wasn’t something she had to consider when making that choice. They went on to complain that they didn’t have the luxury of that choice, they had to work to support their family and thus could not stay at home to raise their children.

BULLSHIT!

Yes, I call bullshit on that assessment.

We all have the opportunity and the luxury to make amazing choices about how we live and how we raise our children. The choices might be difficult but we mothers always have choices. When we stop believing we have choices, which these two women apparently have, we become slaves.

When I first started this blog five years or so ago I had just started working for a local tech company. It was a great job, I made a fair wage, my boss was accommodating to my single parenthood and I was well regarded in the small company. After working there for 6 moths I was offered a raise with the condition that I spend more time in the office. Before that I had been allowed to work from home occasionally. The job was great and most mothers would have been tickled to work for such a fair and accommodating company.

We all have choices

I didn’t take the raise and ended up quitting because even though my boss only wanted me to be in the office an hour extra each day (half hour on each end of the day) it meant I couldn’t be there before my kids went to school and I wouldn’t be there when they got home. Also, summer was coming up and I couldn’t put my son in charge of his sister for 3 months which would have meant nothing but TV watching all day long.

I had no idea how I was going to make ends meet but I knew I couldn’t be away from kids at that time in their lives.

It was a struggle, we did without a lot and we gave up a lot of what we had. We stopped eating out, we gave up after school lessons of any kind and vacations were out. Our clothes wore out long before we bought new ones.

It wasn’t easy but I knew it was the right CHOICE to make because I wanted to be there for my kids.

So far I am very happy with my choice to stay home, start my own business (though I earn considerably less than when I worked outside the home), and raise my kids. It was hard but it was worth it. My son graduated high school Cum Laude last year and is now on track to finish his engineering degree in three years. I can’t take the credit for his achievements but I do believe that being home helped to keep him on track and stay out of trouble.

Knowing that I always had a choice made a difference

I’ve said it before but we as Americans have really become a nation of pussies. We have more choices, options, luxuries and opportunities than any other country on this planet and yet we whine about whether or not we have to choose to work or raise the kids.

Many women do both and they love it. Many women, on the other hand, chose to do neither and our country supports that choice, even pays them. The women who think they have no choice but to work outside the home are the ones who are afraid to live with one car, take fewer vacations and wear clothing from TJ Maxx.

I’m not suggesting that mothers in the US can have it all, I don’t think that is possible, but we have so many more choices and FREEDOMS, than any other country. Of course with those freedoms and choices comes responsibility and possible failure.

I think it’s worth it.

I’m sorry Hillary Rosen and these other women feel as if they don’t have choices, life must be incredibly difficult for them.

THE DEMOCRATS’ WAR ON WOMEN (CONT’D): Hillary Rosen: Ann Romney never worked a day in her life. … (pjmedia.com)
Ann Romney hits back at Hillary Rosen attack (worldviewtonight.com)
Buckle Up, It’s Going to be a Bumpy Ride (proudprogressive1.wordpress.com)
Romney fires back at never-worked charge (kshb.com)
The View Co-Hosts Spar Over Ann Romney’s Resume (mediaite.com)

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Man Dies Trying to Commit Suicide

Filed under Things that piss me off by Jen on June 1, 2011 at 10:02 am {32 comments}

Image via Wikipedia

That headline would be a lot more funny if it weren’t true. According to MSNBC a man waded into San Francisco Bay threatening to kill himself. He walked into the water until he was neck deep. Would be rescuers watched for nearly an hour until he died and then someone finally pulled him out of the water. The would be rescuers were firefighters and police who were not permitted to attempt a rescue because of budget cuts which eliminated water rescues. There were about 75 onlookers as well.

What the fuck is wrong with people?

Apparently the man inched out from the shore but kept looking back, presumably to see if anyone was going to try to stop him from taking his own life.

No one did.

I repeat – What the fuck is wrong with people?

It’s unbelievable that fire fighters and police wouldn’t step in, and blaming the incident on budget cuts is deplorable, but I would have thought one of the 75 onlookers would have DONE THE RIGHT THING and walked out and dragged the guy back to shore.

To add insult to injury – a witness to this horrible incident finally did brave the waters, after 54 minutes and the guy was face down in the water for some time, and pulled him back. What, he couldn’t have gone in the water 20 minutes earlier and pulled him back?

I don’t understand people anymore. Not that I ever did really but I always believed that if another human needed help one of us would be there. I know I would. We hear stories of people risking their lives for animals stuck in wells and other peril all the time and yet no one could walk into the water to pull this man out?

I’m not buying the budget cuts excuse. I take that back, I buy it but it pisses me off. We have too many rules and regulations to follow these days and I suppose we can blame the lawyers who sue for things like hot coffee and all that, as well as all the lawmakers who pass these stupid laws. Now they are trying to get a law on the books to prevent this kind of thing.

What happened to compassion and human decency? What happened to helping out your fellow man (or woman) in need? Why do we need laws to tell us to do the right thing?

Man drowns after wading into San Francisco Bay (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
Man drowns after wading into San Francisco Bay (sfgate.com)
New policy after crews watch man die in SF Bay (seattletimes.nwsource.com)

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Bloggers Have to Demand Their Full Value and Stop Giving Away their Writing For Free

Filed under Blogging, Writing by Jen on February 7, 2011 at 7:25 pm {54 comments}

Huffington Post AOL merger, bloggers who don't get paid, bloggers who write for free, bloggers who don't value themselves, bloggers who give away their writing make it harder for all the other writers out there

Isn't this Ironic?

Yesterday, AOL purchased The Huffington Post for $315,000,000., this was big news all over the internet. Apparently the deal was signed at the Super Bowl.

I don’t read the Huffington Post often because I don’t care for the reporting or the petty tone of their articles and I especially don’t like all the name calling going on in the comment sections.

I understand why AOL would want to purchase a brand like The Huffington Post, they are widely read and AOL is trying to rework its own image and readership. (Full disclosure here, I am a freelance writer for Patch.com which is owned by AOL)

Honestly, I could care less about this merger. What I do care about is the last line in one of the articles written on MSNBC.com about The Huffington Post.

Huffington Post grew quickly from startup to online colossus and ranks as one of the top 10 current events and global news sites. Over time, it launched city-specific pages and developed a roster of sections such as food and books. The work of its paid staff is augmented by content from news outlets and 6,000 bloggers who write for free.

The emphasis is mine.

Seems to me Ariana Huffington owes each of those bloggers around $52,500. It’s not likely to happen according to the email she sent to those 6000 bloggers. The Huffington Post is not the only big name company that doesn’t compensate its contributors if it doesn’t have to. Forbes does it too, as does CNN, and all the other big news outlets. Why buy the cow when they can get the milk for free?

When are we going to stop acting like blog sluts who give it away for free?

After I read this article I copied and pasted the paragraph into an email and sent it to fellow blogger Kathy from The Junk Drawer. Her response was I know. That kills me. Every time a writer writes for free, it means another writer is having an argument with someone about getting paid enough or at all. Hmmm, I like that. I’m putting it up on my FB wall.

Which she did and the conversation has been lively to say the least.

And it is so true. Every time a blogger willingly contributes to a website for no compensation it makes it that much harder for the rest of us who are trying to eek out a living with our writing. We need to stand together and demand that we are fairly compensated for our work.

I understand why bloggers are willing to spread their legs for little more than a free drink. Companies dangle all kinds of great enticements in front of us; free products, a profile on the page, or the promise of traffic from the site for which they are writing (that never happens), but they are never worth what we provide them. We have to start asking for cold, hard, cash.

It isn’t easy to do, sometimes the offer of a product is all we think our work is worth but if we don’t start banding together these companies are going to keep taking advantage of us for our hard work.

And writing is hard. It takes time to craft a well thought out article about any given topic. Jayne, from In Jayne’s World, wrote very aptly that I secrete blood out of every orifice every time I write anything. I do too, which is why I no longer write or contribute without getting compensated. And by ‘compensation’ I mean cash. If I don’t value my time and my writing then why on earth should I expect someone else to?

This is not to say that I won’t still do an occasional review without compensation save for the product or service, but those are supposed to be objective and if you add compensation to that mix the review might not be so objective. Of course the reviews most bloggers do are completely biased because they are getting free merchandise or services and they want to keep ‘em coming. Rarely will you read a review from a blogger (unless they are already getting paid by the newsite) that isn’t positive and glowing. The fear most bloggers have is that if they write a bad review they will get black balled in the PR/Marketing world. Bloggers work hard to be noticed by PR firms and they don’t want to mess that up.

6000 bloggers.

Think about that. 6000 bloggers are writing their hearts out, with no pay, so they might get noticed. And most of these companies don’t care because they know if one stands up for herself and asks for monetary compensation they can turn her down and find someone else who is willing to do it for free.

This is our Norma Rae Moment, if we don’t stand together and demand that our time and our skills are valuable we will never be properly compensated. We must stand together.

What the Web Is Saying About AOL’s HuffPo Purchase (gigaom.com)
AOL to buy Huffington Post in $315M deal (cbc.ca)
What Arianna Huffington Is Telling HuffPo Bloggers About AOL Merger (slog.thestranger.com)

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